In This Issue:
De-Stress on Dec. 3rd…Relatives From Hell…Sane Shopping

Welcome!

So I hope that you've all had a very SELF-CARING Thanksgiving and time with family and friends. I had a great holiday, spent at a family reunion in Florida with lots of family and lots of love and laughter!! (I didn't always feel that way about family, so I have the changes that have happened in me on account of Metasteps and God's grace to thank for that!) It was a wonderful change of pace for me, and the added bonus was the opportunity to have a visit from a long-time Be Totally Free! friend, Vicki (see picture). We shared lots of laughs and good, heart-felt chats (not to mention a fun boat ride) together on Sunday.

If you are in southern California, don't miss our upcoming workshop: "De-Stress, Eat Less!" this Sunday, December 3, 2-5pm. Are you are sick of waking up on January 2nd...10 pounds heavier? You will learn hands-on techniques for sidestepping the trap of overindulgence this December!  I will share practical, easy-to-follow tools for sailing through difficult family issues, stressful party schedules, and overall "overwhelm" during the holidays. Join us in West Los Angeles…there are only a few spaces left so register now: http://www.betotallyfree.com/gatherings.php

Do you have a busy, stressed out family member or friend, (especially the ones with the "addictive personality")? Consider sending him or her our new CDs "A Moment's Peace: Visualization & Meditation for the Overactive Mind" and "Change Your Life, Change Your Waistline". We are offering a special holiday price for the two CDs until the end of the year.

Love, Tricia

Dear Ask it:

I have some difficult family members who are extremely negative and I can't stand to be around them. I do feel, however, that "family" is important and I want my children to know their relatives. How do I handle the ones who drive me crazy?

"Fed Up" in Fresno

Dear Fed Up:

One of the biggest reasons holidays are so stressful is because of the "obligation" to be around people we wouldn't choose to be with for all the presents in the world! But because they are "family" we are forced into strained, if not unbearable, holiday situations that aren't much fun for us or our children. Allow me to fill you in on a secret: you don't have to be with them! Many people don't consider this to be an option. Often, just knowing that this is an option can ease the burden of obligation and help you to "choose" to be with them instead. You can choose to show up and bring as much joy to the situation as you can. While it appears that negative, miserable people are unhappy with things outside themselves (like you!) they are actually miserable with themselves, and you are simply getting the "spillover". So it really isn't personal to you. Explain this to your children and then make a plan together to be as nice and kind as possible; chances are your negative relatives are hurting for various reasons and are desperately in need of love and attention (they just have a really bizarre way of expressing it). If we concentrate on giving love, instead of looking to be loved, we can often rise above the negativity of those who normally bring us down. Also, you may need to limit the time spent with these people. Show up, be as loving and cheerful as you can be, and then move on to "another party" or other family obligations. If it truly is unbearable or abusive, make other plans.

*Do you have a question you'd like to have answered? Write me at askitbasket@betotallyfree.com.

(Please forward to everyone you know!)

Making a list…checking it twice!

Ever stop to think how smart Santa was to make a list of the gifts he was going to be delivering to all the girls and boys? Imagine what a conundrum it would be for Santa to try to bring the right gifts without a list!

It's easy to go overboard when shopping for gifts. We see things in the store that would be "perfect" for someone and we buy it. Then we see something else and we just "have" to get it. We feel pressure to buy expensive gifts like our family members do when we can't really afford it. When we're done shopping we realize we've purchased far more than we planned, and it's going to hurt when the bills come in.

Do you want to sidestep the shopping craze this year? The secret is spending some quiet time setting your intentions before you begin. We can learn a lot from Santa's penchant for lists…

Here is a sure-fire plan for easy, efficient and SANE holiday shopping:

1. Spend some time alone, and pray for inspiration to find the right gift, at the right price, for each person
2. List everyone to whom you want to give a card
3. List everyone to whom you want to give a gift
4. Write down your desired budget for holiday gifts
5. Ask yourself: "Is there anyone on my list to whom I could give a nice card, instead of a gift?"
6. Based on your budget and the number of people on your list, determine a dollar amount you want to stay within for each gift, or, establish three amounts and put one of those amounts next to each name
7. Seeking inspiration, jot down whatever ideas come up for a gift for each person
8. Circle the gift that is within the proposed dollar amount and is the most fitting for each person's desire or need; that will be your first choice
9. Now consider gifts that don't cost anything or much, but come with love: fun photos you've taken that that person would love to have (which can be inexpensively framed, I like the plastic frame with a magnet for the refrigerator), a certificate for one free foot or back massage, breakfast in bed, organization of a home office or closet, dinner cooked and served for a friend or relative and her/his spouse
10. Can you substitute any store bought gifts with one of these gifts of love?
11. Can you choose a less expensive gift and supplement with a gift of love?
12. Finally, make a list of the specific stores or websites you need to visit in order to find the gifts on your list. List the backups after that. (Try to narrow it down to the same store or mall for many of the gifts.) Next to each store, write a list of the gifts you will be buying there
13. Be sure to include the store for your holiday cards and gift-wrapping essentials
14. List one or two specific days that you can devote to holiday shopping (or three or four days when you'll have at least a few hours)

Eating the right foods and minimizing stress are major by-products of Be Totally Fre*e's services. Check out our website for more information.

December 3rd - De-Stress, Eat Less: This informative workshop helps you minimize holiday stress and increase joy while losing weight! Sunday, December 3 from 2:00 pm - 5:00 pm in Los Angeles. For more information and to register, click here.

January 15th - 6 week TRANSFORMATIONAL TELECLASS begins: Breaking Fre*e from Emotional Eating--Mondays at 5:30 pm Pacific/8:30 pm Eastern. For more information and to register, click here.

Join University of Masters and hear Tricia's regular classes: "Change Your Life, Change Your Waistline."

After overcoming her own lifetime battle with compulsive eating, drinking and weight-without the use of diets, pills, medication or excessive exercise-Tricia Greaves founded Be Totally Fre*e!, a non-profit organization that offers a unique and permanent solution for overcoming all addictions. To learn about the hope we offer to those who have tried everything to stop, visit www.betotallyfree.com.