The "Be Totally Free-zine" is my way of supporting you in living a life that is happy, healthy and "totally free" from emotional eating and other life struggles. It is published every other week. You are receiving this because you signed up for one of our programs or I've had the pleasure of meeting you and want to stay in touch. To change your subscription or subscribe now Click here

The Amazing Power of “I CAN’T”!

I grew up with the mantra “I can’t”. Oh sure, I had positive influences all around me, people telling me “Yes you can!” They were well meaning, but I was pretty convinced that, in truth, “I can’t”.

You see, life was daunting to me. I didn’t understand how people accomplished the things they did. Of course, I overlooked the things I, myself, was accomplishing, because I was so focused on my fear.  The fact was that whatever the task at hand, I was sure that I wasn’t up for it. So with great despair, I continued to affirm “I can’t”.

Then, as I began to recover from hopeless emotional eating, and my self-confidence began to climb, my attitude changed.  Like “The Little Engine That Could”, my new mantra became “I think I can”. It was wonderful! Over the years, that mantra transformed further into “I can do anything”. What a change! I have been living in the sunlight of possibility for years, and it has been a blessing.

Lately, however, I’ve had some bumps in the road. When I’ve felt discouraged, I’ve begun to hear a little whisper of “Maybe I can’t”. Ohmygosh! “This is terrible”, I’d think. “Wait! Stop! I can’t be thinking like this…especially now that ‘The Secret’ has revolutionized the power of positive thinking!”

But then I had a shift. What if I could embrace those discouraged, downtrodden, defeatist thoughts? What if I accepted that they are a necessary step in my process of renewal? Isn’t “I can’t” a kind of surrender? Isn’t it an exasperated laying down of arms, indicating that I’ve given up the fight? Isn’t this an opportunity for God to show me a higher, better way? The answer is yes.

Of course I can’t stay stuck in “I can’t”. And it’s important not to confuse “I can’t” with “I won’t”. But the truth is that an occasional loss for answers, of the next right step, of the power to “fix” a tough situation may be just what I need.

When I returned to college to finish my degree after a hiatus to address my disordered eating, thinking and living, I was ready to finish with a “bang”. I wanted to graduate “summa cum laude”, or somewhere close. I had unbridled ambition to prove myself and my intelligence. But I also needed to TAKE CARE OF MYSELF in the process. My recovery had to be my top priority.

After a good case of “Yes I Can’s” I realized that I needed to realistically consider that “maybe I can’t”. Really, it was more like “maybe I can’t—and ensure my sanity and health.”
It was a humbling admission…my ego was not pleased! I forfeited distinction for a roster of classes that I ENJOYED, classes that weren’t too grueling and were even interesting and FUN. The result was a credit-packed final year that was enjoyable and conducive to putting my physical, emotional and spiritual needs first.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, I have to admit “I can’t”. When I do this, a better, higher way appears that supersedes my consciousness.  (And you can bet I’m most open to that way only after I’ve given up my way.) It’s been said that when one door closes another opens. I believe that is what happens as soon as I stop fighting and struggling, recognize my personal limitation (even failure), and most importantly, pray for the BEST way to be shown.

Have a wonderful week…if you can!

Love,
Tricia

Dear Ask It:

I am an emotional eater, and I’m convinced my situation would improve if only my head wasn’t spinning a hundred miles a minute! I can’t turn it off! I find that the only time I have a respite is when I’m zoning out in front of the TV with a bag of chips or cookies. There’s got to be a better way. Any suggestions?

~ Spinning in Spokane

Dear Spinning:

You are not alone. Most emotional eaters are plagued with overactive minds. We use food as a drug to sedate our minds and give us a sense of calm (that’s why we’re especially drawn to carbs). Of course the spinning starts up as soon as the distractions end and the hunger returns.

Emotional eaters are also “professional worriers”. We spend time rehearsing mistakes of the past and predicting all possible negative outcomes of the future. In an effort to achieve some measure of control, we worry about everything! When we try to control our world, however, we create more anxiety and trouble. This, of course, sends us back to the refrigerator for more food.

The best solution I know for calming the mind is meditation. Have you ever tried it? If you have, it’s possible you abandoned it soon after you started, feeling that your mind was too busy to continue! Well, the truth is that it takes practice. And there’s no such thing as doing it perfectly. A friend of mine once said that meditation is really quite simple…all you have to do is “sit down and shut up”!

If you need some help to start a meditation practice, or if you want to take baby steps and begin with visualization (where your mind is actually doing something) try our 2-CD set: “Visualization and Meditation for the Overactive Mind”. Give yourself this gift…it’s the NO-CALORIE solution for calming your mind!

(Have a question for Ask It? Please email me at tricia@betotallyfree.com)

(Please forward to everyone you know!)

5 Fast Ways to Relieve Anxiety

1. Open a window, take 10 deep breaths. Deep breathing moves oxygen into your bloodstream.
2. Wash your face. Cool water refreshes.
3. Do simple stretches. Yoga helps treatinsomnia and anxiety.
4. Laugh. Lifts the spirits, boosts energy.
5. Meditate. Close eyes, breathe deeply 20 minutes – relieves anxiety.

Meditation Study Shows Improvement in Memory and Attention
Apparently, people who meditate are a bit thickheaded—in a good way, of course. A new study led by Massachusetts General Hospital shows that the regular practice of a particular form of meditation appears to thicken areas of the brain associated with attention and sensory processing.

Brain scans of experienced, frequent meditators showed thickening in the insula, an area of the cortex involved in the integration of emotion with thought. Most of the structural changes occurred in the right hemisphere of the brain, in the prefrontal cortex, which regulates memory and attention. This area tends to thin as we age, and yet the thickening was more pronounced in older practitioners. According to Sara Lazar, PhD, the study’s lead author, this evidence suggests that meditation may slow down the atrophy of certain areas of the brain that typically occurs with age.

Perhaps even more interesting, you needn’t don robes and retire to a cave somewhere to achieve these results. Instead of scanning the brains of Buddhist monks who devote their lives to mediation, researchers enrolled 20 people who averaged nine years of experience and about 40 minutes a day meditating. (Fifteen people with no experience in meditation formed the control group.) Those participants who meditated most deeply—as measured by breathing rates—showed the greatest changes in their brains, which suggests that meditation caused the thickening, as opposed to the thickening indicating a predisposition to meditate.
~Alternative Medicine, August 2006

Learn HOW to meditate NOW!

***************************************************************

Tricia Greaves now offers private "Heal Your Hunger" coaching sessions for those desiring maximum results with "weight loss from the inside out". For a fre*e 30 minute session, email Tricia at tricia@betotallyfree.com

June 4th - New York City: "Heal Your Hunger" workshop.

We are in the process of finalizing the venue for this workshop. If you would like to be notified with information as soon as it is available, please provide us with your name, email and state and we will contact you.

After overcoming her own lifetime battle with compulsive eating, drinking and weight-without the use of diets, pills, medication or excessive exercise-Tricia Greaves founded Be Totally Fre*e!, a non-profit organization that offers a unique and permanent solution for overcoming all addictions. To learn about the hope we offer to those who have tried everything to stop, visit www.betotallyfree.com.