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In This Issue:

Skiing Beyond Fear…Helping Your Overweight Children

Well, haven’t I been having fun! My Mom just returned home after spending 3 days here in LA with me for a great visit (Nordstrom thought it was just great, too!). Prior to Mom’s visit I spent 5 snowy days in Aspen skiing with several family members, including my Mom and Step dad. It was wonderful to catch up with family as well as see my niece and nephew tearing up the slopes and enjoying life. The biggest surprise was taking to the slopes myself after a 25-year hiatus from skiing!

Skiing this time around was truly inspirational. Even with several years of skiing as a kid, I was never a great skier. They have shorter skis now, which make it easier. But the biggest difference this time was that I WASN’T AFRAID. Instead, I felt exhilarated, excited, energized and even somewhat confident. I loved going fast, taking trails that looked hard, negotiating the powder that, growing up on the east coast, I’ve never skied in before.

This new skiing experience made me see how AFRAID I was during all my years of skiing as a kid. I WAS AFRAID OF EVERYTHING: falling off the chair lift, someone crashing into me, making it to the lodge without peeing in my long johns, wiping out on the ice like my friend’s sister who broke both legs, going too fast and losing control, losing sight of my family, being left behind, not making any friends. Oy vey! All these fears bogging me down…no wonder I wasn’t a good skier! Fear dictated all my thoughts and actions. That is where chocolate bars (and in my teens, Peppermint Schnapps) came in handy…they helped to anesthetize the fear!

But last week I didn’t need chocolate or schnapps. I had God’s grace and love in place of the fear. There was a consciousness of being guided, protected and loved. All I needed was to be “in love” and enjoy the freedom…the incredible gift of freedom that God has given me. I DIDN’T DO THIS. It was a gift, and knowing from whence I’ve come, as a fearful, fretful skier, I feel so blessed to have been able to receive this gift. This is what the Metasteps process has given me. This is the payoff of years of devoting myself to breaking free from emotional eating and overcoming the fear that underlies it.

I feel so incredibly blessed. I hope in some way through my Teleclasses, Heal Your Hunger coaching, or Metasteps to be able to share these blessings with you.

With love,
Tricia

Dear Ask It:

My child is overweight. I am extremely concerned for her because I know from personal experience how painful it is to grow up with a weight problem. What can I do to help her lose weight and have a more normal childhood?

~Concerned in Colorado

Dear Concerned:

You are not the only mother facing this tough issue. First of all, sidestep the temptation to control your daughter’s eating. My Mom’s attempts to control what I ate as a kid only made matters worse. It became a game to see how much I could “get away with” eating! I also know that while I resented my mother’s being somewhat of a “health nut” and rarely having sugar cereals and candy in the house, I would have been far heavier if she had. Today I am grateful that she did her best to help me. (I confess it took years to get over resenting her for constantly reminding me to suck my stomach in.)

Children’s overeating is as much a symptom as adults’ so it’s important to look deeper into what your child may really be hungering for. Kids need undistracted time with Mom and Dad so they can truly feel heard. It’s easy to be with our kids, but "connecting" is harder, especially when food is in the way for either the parent or the child. Try to focus on what your child’s deeper hunger is and address that. Please see below for helpful tips on how you can help your daughter.

(Have a question for Ask It? Please email me at tricia@betotallyfree.com)

(Please forward to everyone you know!)

Help kids lose weight, not self esteem

An increasing number of American children are struggling with their weight. Experts estimate that more than 15 percent of children and adolescents fall into the obesity category. Yet at the same time, the pressure to be thin remains high. Images of skinny pop stars and teen idols pervade movies, television and magazines. While it is tempting to blame the media for saddling children with unrealistic images of proper weight, parents have more influence on their children than they think.

"A family helps mold a child's self esteem from birth and therefore his or her body image," says Carolyn Cochrane, PhD, director of eating disorders programs at The Menninger Clinic and assistant professor in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at BCM. "It is not an accident that if you try to improve self-esteem, body image will improve and vice-versa."

Being a healthy role model to your children is a good way to start, Cochrane says. Often, the parent of an overweight child is also overweight. When the whole family works toward living healthier, the overweight child is not singled out. The family becomes healthier in many ways, not just weight.

If you come from a family that has a history of obesity, teach your children early that they may be more likely to gain weight more easily. Teasing your children about their weight, even good naturedly, is a "huge no-no," Cochrane says. "Remember, kids pick up the negative connotation that most of society has about weight." Children who have positive body images are less at risk for developing eating disorders including anorexia nervosa, bulimia and binge eating disorder.

Work together

"We are asking for quite a commitment from parents and some significant lifestyle changes on their part," Johnston says. "We tell them, 'It is not fair to eat McDonalds while saying your child can't. It is not fair to say your child needs to be physically active, while you aren't.'"

Making small, continuous changes over time will help make the transition to a healthier, more active lifestyle less painful. Rather than suddenly declaring the kitchen off-limits, ease your family into a healthier lifestyle. Start stocking your refrigerator with healthy snacks, like fruits and vegetables. Do not keep sweets and chips in the pantry while telling your children that they are not allowed to eat them.

Let your family know that you are making the change, so they won't be shocked when they find carrot sticks in the refrigerator instead of candy bars.

"Kids are smart," says Joan Carter, a registered dietician with the USDA's Children's Nutrition Research Center at BCM. "Don't focus on the child's weight but say something like, 'I think we could be eating healthier.'"

Exercise plays a part

Exercising as a family should also be a prominent part of a family's healthy living plan. Exercise burns calories, increases strength and flexibility and reduces stress. As a bonus, it makes you feel good.

You don't have to run a marathon, or go to the gym to be physically active. A simple walk around the block, or a game of catch, will help you work up a sweat, and build stronger bonds with children.

"As a family, plan weekends around some form of physical activity as part of a routine," Carter says. "Saturdays could always be set aside for a walk between mother and daughter, or a family hike. When you exercise as a family, you are feeding social development as well as the body."

Don't be a food "control freak"

You may want your child to eat her broccoli, but don't force her, say experts. Being too controlling about the food your child eats can backfire. "When the parent takes an authoritative style toward feeding, it becomes a control problem between the parent and the child," Carter says. Instead of insisting on what and how much your child eats, "parents should decide what food is in the house and what is served at meals. Children should decide how much they want to eat."

When you serve meals "family style," your child can dish out exactly the amount of food he or she wants. If you serve their plates yourself, children are likely to eat more than satisfies their hunger because there is more on their plate.

Healthy foods like lean meats, whole grains and fruits and vegetables should be staples in your family's diet. If you routinely eat right, however, your family can eat outside those lines on occasion.

It may be hard to cut out junk food cold turkey, so one approach is to "downsize," your consumption, says Carter. "Buy just one case of soda, or one bag of chips, and tell your kids, 'when it is gone it is gone. We'll buy more next week.' What you don't want is to have food in the house and then to tell kids they can't have it. It will make them crazy."

Excerpted from Baylor College of Medicine www.bcm.edu/findings

Eating the right foods and minimizing stress are major by-products of Be Totally Fre*e's services. Check out our website for more information.

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Tricia Greaves now offers private "Heal Your Hunger" coaching sessions for those desiring maximum results with "weight loss from the inside out". For a fre*e 30 minute session, email Tricia at tricia@betotallyfree.com

March 26th - BREAKING FRE*E FROM EMOTIONAL EATING - 6 Week Teleclass series begins (classes by phone)--Mondays at 5:30 pm Pacific/8:30 pm Eastern. For more information and to register, click here.

After overcoming her own lifetime battle with compulsive eating, drinking and weight-without the use of diets, pills, medication or excessive exercise-Tricia Greaves founded Be Totally Fre*e!, a non-profit organization that offers a unique and permanent solution for overcoming all addictions. To learn about the hope we offer to those who have tried everything to stop, visit www.betotallyfree.com.